If you’re considering adoption in Virginia, you’re probably carrying a lot of questions, and maybe a few big emotions, too. Whether you’re considering placing a child for adoption, hoping to grow your family, or simply trying to understand your options, it’s completely normal to want clear, honest answers.
At Children’s Home Society of Virginia, we talk with individuals and families every day who just need a starting point. Adoption can feel overwhelming at first. There’s paperwork, timelines, decisions, and a whole lot of unknowns. But it’s also filled with support, guidance, and people who genuinely care about what’s best for you and your child.
This blog answers some of the most common questions we hear in plain terms. Our hope is that by the end, you’ll feel more informed, more confident, and reminded that you don’t have to figure this out on your own.
Considering Adoption in Virginia? Start Here.
10 Frequently Asked Questions About Foster Care Adoption
- What’s the difference between foster care adoption and private adoption? The biggest difference comes down to how a child enters the adoption process. Foster care adoption involves children who are in the state’s care, often because their birth parents were unable to provide a safe home. In many cases, the goal starts as reunification with the biological family, and adoption becomes an option only if that is no longer possible. Private adoption, on the other hand, usually involves an expectant mother making an adoption plan directly with the agency or attorney. The match is often made before the baby is born, and there’s typically more opportunity for ongoing contact, depending on everyone’s comfort level.
- Do I get to choose the age, gender, or background of the child I adopt? CHS works hard to ensure that prospective families have a voice in the matching process. Using a child-centered approach, CHS carefully considers each child’s needs, background, and preferences to ensure each match supports long-term stability and well-being. Currently, in Virginia, roughly half of the children in foster care are boys and half are girls. About 60% are white, 28% are black, and about 10-12% are Hispanic. In Virginia’s foster care system, older kids and teens make up a large chunk of kids waiting for adoption. Younger kids are more likely to be adopted quickly, often by their own foster families. That leaves many older kids or sibling groups waiting for families.
- What is “open adoption” and how does it work? In an open adoption, there’s usually some level of ongoing contact between the adoptive family and the child’s birth family. That can mean letters, photos, phone calls, or even in-person visits, depending on what everyone agrees to. The relationship is talked about and planned from the beginning. We began placing a strong emphasis on open adoptions in the 1990s, and that commitment continues today. Since we started open adoptions, we have seen how very healthy it is for the adopted child. We encourage birth family relationships in foster care adoption (when it is safe and appropriate). Most of the time, youth do know their families, even if or when termination of parental rights has occurred.
- What training is required before I can adopt? Adopting from foster care is a life-changing journey, one that requires not just compassion and commitment but also preparation. At CHS, we believe the best way to support families in this journey is through education. That’s why we’ve developed a robust, trauma-informed training program designed to equip prospective adoptive parents with the tools, knowledge, and confidence they need to welcome and support children from foster care. The children we serve have experienced significant loss and, often, trauma. Our training program is built around helping families understand how those experiences impact a child’s development, behavior, and emotional needs. To learn more about the topics provided, click here.
- Can singles adopt? Yes. Adults from all walks of life can adopt from foster care in Virginia, whether you’re single, married, divorced, widowed, part of a multicultural or multiracial family, a member of the LGBTQ+ community, or anything in between. What matters most isn’t your relationship status or background. It’s your ability to provide a safe, steady, and loving home for a child who needs one.
- What kinds of children are most in need of adoptive families right now? In the Virginia foster care system, about 38% of kids are 13 years or older. There’s also a need for families who are open to adopt sibling groups, brothers and sisters who want to stay together, as well as children who may have emotional, behavioral, and other support needs. These kids are amazing, but they’re the ones the system struggles to find permanent families for most quickly.
- Can I adopt a sibling group? Yes! In fact, keeping siblings together in adoption is important for their emotional and psychological well-being. For many children in the foster care system, siblings are often the only consistent source of support and familiarity they have amid the upheaval of being separated from their birth parents. Growing up in the same home allows siblings to maintain these vital connections, providing them with a sense of security, continuity, and identity in an otherwise uncertain situation. When siblings are placed together, they can help each other cope with trauma, navigate the complexities of a new environment, and build resilience in the face of change.
- How are adoptive families matched with a child? Social workers look closely at who the child is, their age, personality, history, relationships, and specific needs, and then look just as carefully at what your family brings to the table. Your strengths, experience, support system, and even your parenting style all matter. The goal isn’t to place a child anywhere. It’s to place them where they can thrive. Every match is centered on one question: Is this the right home for the child? The child’s best interests always guide the decision.
- What role does trauma play in adoption, and how can adoptive parents prepare? Most children have experienced trauma, which can affect their behavior, emotions, and trust. Patience, commitment, and ongoing support are essential. Many children in foster care have experienced loss, neglect, abuse, or instability. Big reactions, testing boundaries, or difficulty connecting aren’t signs of a “bad” child; they’re often signs of a child who hasn’t felt safe. Adoptive parents can prepare by learning about trauma-informed parenting, building a strong support system, and going in with realistic expectations. Patience, consistency, and long-term commitment make a real difference in helping a child heal and settle into a permanent home.
- What happens after the adoption is finalized? After adoption is finalized, families often have access to ongoing services designed to help everyone adjust and thrive. That can include counseling, trauma-informed clinical services, and crisis planning if challenges arise. Many families can also receive financial assistance, depending on the child’s needs. There are practical supports too — case management, information and referrals to local resources, education and training to strengthen parenting skills, and advocacy to help you navigate schools or other systems. You’re not expected to figure everything out on your own. And just as important, there’s community. Peer support groups and planned family activities connect you with other adoptive families who understand what this journey really looks like. The goal is simple: long-term stability and support, well beyond finalization.
What Expectant Mothers Need to Know
Facing an unplanned pregnancy can feel overwhelming, confusing, and isolating, but expectant parents don’t have to navigate it alone. At CHS, we offer free, confidential counseling services designed to support expectant parents as they explore their options and make informed decisions that feel right for them and their families.
Our experienced adoption professionals provide nonjudgmental, compassionate counseling to help expectant parents fully understand all available paths, including parenting, placement with a relative, or adoption. We believe every expectant parent deserves accurate information, time to reflect, and respectful support without pressure or expectation.
CHS staff work one-on-one with expectant parents to discuss their unique circumstances, values, and hopes for the future. Our role is not to direct a decision, but to help expectant parents thoughtfully consider their options and understand the emotional, legal, and practical aspects of each choice.
For those considering adoption, we provide education about the adoption process, types of adoption plans, and what ongoing contact might look like, if desired. We also support expectant parents who come to us already connected with an identified adoptive family, helping ensure the decision is informed, voluntary, and centered on the parents’ wishes.
When an expectant parent expresses interest in adoption and does not already have an identified family, CHS can help connect them with approved adoptive families through a parental placement adoption. Expectant parents are supported in reviewing profiles, asking questions, and determining what feels like the best fit for them and their child.
All CHS services for expectant parents are provided at no cost and with strict confidentiality. Our goal is to walk alongside expectant parents with honesty, respect, and care, supporting them in making decisions that align with their needs and values, whatever path they choose.
If you or someone you love is facing an unplanned pregnancy, CHS is here to listen, provide information, and offer compassionate support during this important time.
Considering Adoption in Virginia? Take the Next Step with Confidence
If you’re considering adoption in Virginia, it’s okay to still have questions. It’s okay to feel unsure. This is a life-changing decision, and you deserve steady guidance and a space to think it through.
Whether you’re exploring foster care adoption, private adoption, or making a plan during an unplanned pregnancy, you don’t have to navigate it alone. The right support can make a complicated process feel clearer and more manageable.
At Children’s Home Society of Virginia, the goal is simple: provide honest information, compassionate support, and a path forward that puts children and families first. When you’re ready, the next step is just a conversation.
